Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Monday, November 14, 2011; Week 35

Fort Wayne~

     Things this week have been going good. in this area  there arent as many hispanics so its harder to find them and we end up traveling a long way to find them but we are being diligent with it and god is blessing us. we are the only spanish elders in this zone so we cover a giant part of Indiana but we usually just stay around here.  its hard but I'm learning a lot and I'm being pushed to the very limits in every aspect and i love it.  I've never been so tired and hurt so bad in my life but I'm finally feeling like a missionary.  oh and before i forget, would you send me a copy of my mission call? maybe get it shrunk and lamenated? if thats too big of a hassel dont worry about it but i think its something i would like so that i could remember those feelings i had when i read it for the first time.
   So... me and my comp are working good together. we share something together that strengthens us greatly. our dislike for a certain religion who seems to be behind us or one step ahead of us everyday.  we've lost so many investigators to them.  one night we were talking to an investigator who has been studying with them and she told us that she cant meet with us anymore because they have been telling her stuff that we do in our church and she cant be part of that. and she wouldnt let us talk at all and she kept on bringing up Emma Smith and how she didnt follow Joseph so therefor he cant be a prophet and i was just getting soooooo mad and i couldnt listen to it any more so i just told her that she doesnt know Emma and she doesnt know anything about our church and if she did she would know that it was true but instead she is blinded and have no desire to find the truth and then we left. and the whole way home i was soooo mad and i was thinking about why our church is true and what happened was just another testament of the truthfullness of this church. every church talks bad about us to try and bring us down and we never talk bad about other churches. we openly say how much we love our BROTHERS and SISTERS of other religions and everyone else doesnt even consider us brothers.  then i felt bad about getting so angry becuase i really need to be a representative of Jesus Christ and an disciple of him and a true disciple of Christ would not let stuff like that get the best of them. its hard but I'm trying.  what gives them the right to talk crap on our church? hahaha sorry I'll get off my soapbox now.
   So we had a nice run in to a vet from vietnam.  oh my gosh it wasnt good. he was telling us some not good stuff that they had to do over there and was just swearing so bad and we asked him to stop swearing and he got angry and then started swearing more and then we talked about the atonement and how he can be forgiving and then he started crying because i didnt know if the stuff he did was wrong. he just did what the government told him to do. it was sad but then he started swearing again so we just left. now we see him everywhere hahaha he is a scary guy. I've met so many weirdos here. more here then in Indianapolis.
     At a training president gave he compared the sun and the moon to missionaries and said that we need to be suns and give off light and energy and not moons that only reflect light and there is a lot more into it but i dont have time to go into it.  but i realized that i am a moon. actually a black hole at times. but i really want to be better and so I prayed and asked how i can be a sun and i recieved about 30 things that i could be doing better.  it was just a testimony to me that no matter how good we think we are doing there is always room to improve and better yourself to be an instrument in gods hands.  it might sound dumb, but that is really what i want. i know every missionary says that but there are only a handful that actually get to that point. I'm far from it but I'm trying. i know my weaknesses and i rely on god to help me.  well I'm out of time. and I'm rambling about stuff so I'll go. the investigators here are solid and I'm happy to be here. hope all continues to go good back home. love you.

Elder Hardman

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